What is it I want to say about “Forgiveness”?
- I think again about Strayed’s “invisible, inner, terrible someone.” and wonder what are the things that ‘someone’ blames me for? Is it just that I am not the person I thought I should be?
- Forgiveness requires hopefulness. It’s a simple act that requires a great deal of courage. Like saying “I love you.” Simple courageous acts require that you do so with no expectation of what comes next.
- I forgive myself because I am willing to be free. ah. that’s a trickier one. As much as we might want or value our freedoms we continually put ourselves in situations where we are stuck and bound and trapped. Many of us are perpetual reoffenders because we think there is safety in this self-confinement.
- I remember once driving through New Mexico west towards Albuquerque and feeling suddenly so overwhelmed by the vastness of the sky that I couldn’t look up.
- I kept my perspective small to feel safe. Had I looked up I might have felt powerful instead.
What is it I want to forgive?
- For not being the person I am not
- For insisting that I should be anything I am not
- For causing myself any pain
- I want to forgive my invisible, inner terrible someone. And let her go away
So how do I do that?
- With practice. I forgive. I forgive. I forgive. until I have.
I forgive and then I wish myself well with no expectation of what that might mean.