small things...

The newest in fashion

The best thing I've overheard this week:

"I think someone should make the salt stains we get along the hem of our pants in winter the newest fashion trend. Saltwashed they could call it."

- NIU male

People in warmer climates would fall over themselves for their pair of saltwashed denim and saltwashed black slacks.  I have plenty of prototypes to share if anyone's interested in the look.

Together Forward

The people at NIU who organized the huge volunteer counselor effort that took place this week to ease the NIU students' transition back to class urged us not to share too much about what took place over these 2 days.  Confidentiality is not a hard request to make to a room full of licensed counselors.  Honoring that request means that I cannot share much of what took place while I was in DeKalb this week.

What I can tell you is that the students were stoic and kind - midwesterners through and through.  The campus was full but seemed quiet.  And that people were really supporting one another.  I was really glad I was there.  Especially after I ran into a group of young men just finishing a class in the theater building who came up to me one-by-one and either hugged me or shook my hand saying, "Thank you so much for coming here for us."  I had not been one of the counselors in their classes, but they had taken the time to express that appreciation for all of the help that had shown up on campus in droves Sunday afternoon. 

The fact that counselors showed up to support these kids was not what was special about the last 2 days.  What was special was how the NIU community supported one another, loved one another, and began to move forward together.   

On "Showing up"

For those of you who attended my mom's funeral last summer you may recall the portion the eulogy my sister and I gave where I spoke about the lesson we'd learned on the act of "showing up" for the people you love. 

I am doing my own act of "showing up" this week as I head out to NIU today to volunteer as one of the 550 volunteer counselors they've accumulated to help transition their students back to school tomorrow.  Their goal was 300 volunteer counselors. I am so proud of the outpouring of help that has come from my professional community. 

"Showing up" can be a really challenging endeavor - especially when you know that there will be pain and fear awaiting you. The doubts and fears and self-preservation thoughts all pour in.  I've been dealing with all of these fears and doubts since I volunteered, secretly hoping that maybe they wouldn't call me, but then happy and resolved when they did.

I don't know what these next 2 days are going to be like, but I know that I can listen.  I know that sometimes just the presence of someone who is willing to be with you can help you feel safer and not alone.  I know that when people need your help - your job is to show up. 

I hope that each of you will find a way to show up for someone that you love or for someone who needs it. 

Life is about what happens between hearts, make sure the door to yours is open. 

IIN Weekend 5 - the half way point

I can hardly believe that I've made it past the halfway mark of this journey.  It's exciting and I feel my engines revving a bit.  The time between the last weekend in January and this one was long and seemed to a bit stressful for my classmates.  There was a lot of discussing, and argument about the program and whether we are being "trained" as thoroughly as possible.  It was coming from a place of fear and anxiety, I believe.  Fear to change your life, fear of being inadequate, fear of having to stand up and be something new, as well as realizing that perhaps there IS more that one needs to learn before starting out into this career.  For me it was a quieter time.  I made some concrete decisions about my own future, set some dates etc...I also ran into my own struggles in trying to figure out how to structure the services I plan to provide, but I'm sorting it out.  I think people were beginning to doubt the school as a way to avoid facing self-doubt. 

I honestly believe that this school's program is revolutionary.  I honestly believe I am part of a turning point in America.  It's exciting, it's overwhelming, it's painful and challenging personally.  It's incredible. 

Something that I kept looking to as all of the hullabaloo was happening among my classmates was the caliber and influence our guest speakers were bringing to the table.  Why would Deepak Chopra, Dr. Oz, Andrew Weil, Debbie Ford, David Wolfe, Mark Hyman, Barry Sears, Iyanla Vanzant, Paul Pitchford (so many more!) all come to this school to teach if there weren't something special happening?  Perhaps there is a reason other then the revolution that I'm talking about, but I don't know what that would be that would be any more important. 

Some highlights:

• My flight was cancelled friday night so I flew in Saturday morning - seeing NYC from the sky in the morning light was worth my 4am wake up
• Meeting some new friends at school way up in the upper decks
• Dinner with Ali and her family and friends
• Learning from these friends that Jude Law is short and farts - for real
• David Katz - inspiring speaker, funny and poetic - he is doing exciting things with teaching kids about nutrition
• Barry Spears - He provided SO MUCH information and education.  He was, however, in the dreaded post lunch spot - so staying awake was a challenge
• And Mark Hyman - great speaker, interesting message
• Inflammation was the message this week - are you inflamed?  I think I am.

The low point was my flight home.  I had dreamed the night before of watching 2 flights crash midair.  I don't belive in my dreams being literal, but I do sometimes look for meaning.  The flight was scary for me.  Not for everyone though - there were some brave people who actually fell asleep.  The short if it is that there was turbulence the entire flight, stomach flopping turbulence.  My mantra or prayer for most of the flight "Fly safe, land safe".  And we did.

love, e.

ps - what i've learned about you dear reader/friends is that you are less interested in participating in any posts I share that are about sad topics or about brushes with the 700 club.  I thought that 700 club story was funny, but clearly it did not bring about the same response as when I wanted to hurl rocks.  So much to learn about you, blogosphere.

Heavy heart

I did my internship at NIU's counseling center from 2002-2003.  I work now as a college counselor at a small college in Chicago.  This tragedy has hit closer to home then those that came before. 

I am sad. :(

I am sending all my thoughts, love, good energy, prayers and condolences to my colleagues, friends and strangers in DeKalb. 

May they feel some peace and may it happen soon.

Don't judge me (or smite me)

This morning I was doing a little channel surfing between news shows trying to find something on this crazy scene that happened at the beach across from my mom's place last night (that's another story for another time).  My neck is stiff for the thousandth morning in a row so I'm being tender curled up on the couch. The station between my 2 chosen channels happened to be playing the 700 club. So I see that there is some serious praying happening...and I'm curious.  So I...pause...and I realize quickly that the two faithful featured here seem to be channeling prayers of the viewers.  Their eyes are shut tight, hands clasped and they are serious.  The man says "There is a debt of $90,000, god is healing that debt right now."  Interesting.  Then some other prayer/psychic channeling that I can't remember, but I know it wasn't me, but still interesting... And then this, Pat Robertson himself says, "There is a neck pain, almost like a whiplash..." uh what? "This has been happening for about 3 years..." Do you know me?? "God is healing your neck right now..." um, for real?? "You'll feel some heat..." is that heat? is my neck hot???!? "You're healed, in Jesus name." Holy shit, for real??!? 

Furiously moving my neck back and forth, I'm freaking out.  Is it true? Did God heal me? My neck feels loose and healed and hot!  I think. Back and forth... What now??!?  Am I a believer??  Front and back...What do I do now??!? Do I have to start going to church??...aannnddd *crick*. Neck hurts again. 

This morning I received a big cosmic, universal and/or spiritual PSYCHE

But for a second there...

Savannah

::View from my hotel balcony

:: A Live Oak Tree.  These are the mossy ones

::And here is the moss

::The court house

:: More Savannah architecture

::River Street

I was just walking back to my table to rejoin my boss and our other counselor friend when my eyes caught a familiar face.  Familiar enough that I looked twice at the woman and on my second glance the woman asked, "Did you go to Evanston??"  It was Elizabeth Harding!  Turns out she is also a counselor at a college, thus attending such a conference.  She is also someone I recall always liking and briefly befriending when we both had big crushes on Ario Teoli (recipient of my first official "come on" to a boy).

After about 40 minutes of lightly catching up we found out that our lives had taken some of the same life-altering paths - beyond that of counseling college students - and we stayed late into the evening seated in the hotel lobby swapping war stories. 

The rest of the weekend/conference went really well.  I enjoyed all of the talks I attended and learned a thing or two.  Elizabeth and I got a chance to walk to City Market one afternoon and then down Bull Street and straight to Forsythe Park on another.  My boss and our mutual friend all went on a "ghost" trolley tour of Savannah.  The scariest part of the tour was when our trolley driver hit a huge garbage bin tearing a hole in the side of the trolley.  All the passengers on our trolley made jokes about ghosts having something to do with the crash, but that joke got old fast.  There was a creepy part of the tour when they played an EVP recording of a haunted house.  In the recording you could hear voices calling out.  I decided that was a good time to think about something pleasant and covertly cover my ears.  I like being scared, but no need for nightmares or spirits inhabiting my brain or something equally upsetting.

I didn't get to see as much of Savannah as I would have liked due to the busy schedule of the conference and the short length of our stay.  So I'm going to have to head back for a 3rd visit, I guess!  And it was good to be home  - despite the zero degree weather.

Where I'll be laying my head tonight

Made it to Savannah despite all the wintery threats.  This city is beautiful and WARM - 75 degrees, sunny.  My boss kept telling anyone who'd listen that we'd gotten out of Chicago just before 14 inches of snow fell - just before!  I don't even know if that happened to tell you the truth.  I'm at a conference for the next 2.5 days, but I'm hoping to doing some livin' while I'm here as well.  Right now I'm pretty psyched about that bed above. 

Fingers crossed

Megan sent this to me today: http://my.barackobama.com/page/s/videoyeswecan

We are thinking of you, mom, and we are voting.

all love

Snow Day!

My phone started ringing at 6:41am Friday morning...

"Were you planning on coming in to work today, Erin?"

"Um, yeah."

"Well, don't!  We've closed the school because of the snowstorm."

HOORAY! Who doesn't love a snow day?  The snow wasn't even that terrible - less then 12 inches around here. Spent lots of time with my nephew this weekend.  I don't have any photos to prove this, but the memories are mine.  I felt so proud of him when we were together.  He is such a joyful being, funny and smart and full of wonder.  Are all 2 year olds like this?  I hope so.

It's snowing again right now.  Dumping actually.  Perhaps another snow day? Unlikely.

**Aside: I'm half-watching a documentary on elephants in Africa right now and I just heard the following, "Erin, the 34 y.o, daughter of Echo the elephant matriarch..."  First a hurricane and now this.  Oh, jeez.  She just died.  This is totally depressing.**

ANYHOW...I'm heading to Savannah, GA in a couple of days.  Anyone been there? Suggestions are welcome.