small things...

A day for grown up things

Yesterday I had two primary goals to accomplish: 1) go vote; 2)have a meeting with my financial dudes and try to get a read on how scared they are about the current economy.

Voting was the first stop.  I waited in line for about an hour with about 100-150 other people.  As is something I like to do, I made friends with the person in front of me and the person behind me.  So much so that I cheered for them when it was finally time for us to go to our individual voting booths.  I was prepared with my list of choices so the actual time I spent voting took about 2 minutes, if that.  I proudly displayed my "I voted!: sticker on the front of my purse and made sure that it showed for the rest of the day.

Why vote early?  There are lots of reasons, most simply answered with another question: why not? I know who I want and am allowed to put that on record now, so WHY NOT? So I did.

I was less confident about my visit with my financial dudes.  I don't understand as much about what's happening in the economy as I'd like to.  I try to catch as much as I can and then filter the information into a language that makes sense to me.  What they told me was this: they are stressed out. What's happening feels like a nightmare. They are happy about the bailout.

I told them to feel free to refer my counseling services to anyone who needs it.

I also learned that I am in a good position financially, relatively speaking (no one is really in a "good" position).  Being nowhere near retirement age helps.  Having kept the investment strategy of someone who was nearing retirement has also helped (read: low risk, steady growth, fairly conservative investing).  Turns out that my fear of money (not of having it, but of losing it) has helped me so far.  Oh, I've lost money, alright - just not as much as many investors have.  So there was some relief in that knowledge.

I am anxious, as everyone else is I"m sure, for things to improve.  I'm hoping that my vote yesterday morning will help lead to better things.

Becoming a grown up isn't as fun as I thought it was going to be when I was 12, but I think I'm doing okay with the new gig.

Learning to cook

So part of my aforementioned plan includes moving forward on a long-standing goal I've had, which has often gotten sidetracked by my (also aforementioned) struggle with food/body image.  And that goal is to learn to cook.  I don't mean how to boil water or make toast (both skills I excel at, thank you), I'm talking learning how to cook a meal.  A meal where upon first taste your eyes roll back into your head, your jaw tingles, you might let a slight moan escape your lips, and perhaps...perhaps... you shed one, tiny, perfect tear.

Alright, that might not all be necessary, but the truth is that I love food and I love to cook, but the end product is hit-or-miss with me, often because I've struggled with whether the food was "okay" to ea or "good for me."  The motivation to cook is also sometimes hampered by the eating solo thing - why make a big meal that I'm going to end up having to eat at every meal for the next 7 days.  But, aha! this plan gets to items #4 & #5 on my list below.  Learning to cook may require that I invite my cute friends over to share in the tasty goodness AND it just may happen that I will lure a handsome man to my table through the much celebrated path from stomach to heart. 

I have several cookbooks in my kitchen and a few years back got into the habit of marking the fact that I'd tried the recipe by writing the month/date next to the recipe.  It's been an unofficial goal to eventually try every recipe from every cookbook I own.  This is a large task.  But I've decided in the spirit of "starting somewhere" that I would try it with one of the cookbooks I own.  It's one of the smaller cookbooks I own so the task is less daunting. 

 

And I've already made 2 recipes! 

 

:: Susan Spungen's "Rigatoni with Squash and Carmelized Onions" from Recipes

 - Okay that's penne, but I my whole foods didn't have Rigatoni - weird. THis was absurdly good.  This made my eyes roll back.  This meal was a home run.

  :: Marc Meyer and Peter Meehan's "Baked Banana French Toast" from Brunch

Okay, I did NOT take this photo.  Mostly because I forgot to take one of mine and also b/c mine looked nothing like this.  It never browned and was a little dry, but maple syrup helps.

2 recipes down, 113 to go!

I was inspired to really start experimenting with cooking through the local eating contest I held this summer, but also from my friend Jess - who once told me that she never cooked the same thing twice.  Now maybe I don't totally remember that statement correctly, BUT STILL she knows what she's doing and has just recently returned to blogging herself.  About food, life, living in Vermont and hopefully on occasion there will be some pics of her dog, Moose, to be shared. Visit her here: Bringing The Heat

Bon Apetit!

Tap, tap...this thing on?

Not to many people read this blog these days.  My not writing here too often, is the likely cause.  Lately I've trying to decide how or if to procede.  The blog served a great purpose for me when I first started it.  It helped me process my grief, it helped me to slowly navigate the new life that was left to build and it allowed me to tell a few good stories. 

I've been thinking about something for awhile now and letting it simmer.  It started with a single idea: "I need a project" and grew into a larger purpose, "I need to have a great life."  um...kind of a huge and vague prospectus for a blogging "about" page.  But recently my focus has become clearer and today my committment became solid. 

After my mom died last year I declared that my new life motto was "don't waste time."  I quickly set about making plans to leave my job and start a private practice.  I enrolled in an amazing program in Manhattan studying food/nutrition/lifestyle.  I now help people heal their lives by making choices that truly make them happy.  But have realized lately that I still struggle with the same things I help my clients overcome.  And I waste a lot of time.

So I asked myself this morning, "Erin, cute-stuff, in what ways are you still wasting time?"  And my soul quickly rattled off a list that has been with me all my life:

1. I have a hate-affair with my body
2. As much as I know about healthy food - I am totally confused about what to eat
3. I have a desire to be spiritually connected, but avoid it at every turn
4. I don't celebrate my friendships or connect to my loved ones nearly enough
5. I really would like to fall-in-love and be fallen-in-love-with

I was inspired this summer, by a really simple exercise.  Eating locally.  I hosted a contest where the participants had to make one meal a week comprised of totally local ingredients. Besides being a fun and challenging exercise - I think it may have opened the door to a life change.

 I have spent most of my life seeing food as an unpredictable foe and have never felt connected or trusting of the food I eat.  Not because of pesticides or farming practices, but because I have been on some diet or another since I was 10 years old.  As a result I have been largely confused about food, uncomfortable in my choices and disconnected from the process.  The same has been mirrored in how I've felt about my body: uncomfortable, confused and disconnected.  Um...same with spirituality: confused,disconnected and uncomfortable.   friendships and love, thank goodness have been less screwy...but I have been single for awhile...so I'm making no concessions.

But this little contest this summer was a whole new experience.  I felt inspired by the other contestants.  I began to feel really connected to the food i was making...holding it in my hands, appreciating the texture and the taste.  I loved getting to know the farmers and learning how to cook new things.  I felt good physically, spiritually and emotionally every time I ate those meals.

I swear to GODDESS that I was sexier on the days I ate locally.  For real.

And it wasn't just because the food was fresh (though that helped) it was because I was connected, on several different levels and it felt amazing.  And I'd like more of that feeling, thanks.

And really, this isn't just about food...it's about letting go of the things that hold me back and enjoying my life now.  As far as the blog goes the plan is this: Document the journey.  For myself, for anyone who wants to join the ride or follow along.  But mostly for myself. How this will manifest in future posts, I'm not totally sure. But I'm writing this here now so that I will remember that I mean it.

So I'm going to work on knocking out that list above one-by-one.  Times a'wastin!

love,

e

I'm a Michael Pollan-ist

I've decided to come-out about this.  I am part of an online listserve through the school I attended last year.  A former student posted a piece on his struggle with identifying himself food-wise.  Not a vegan or raw foodist or even a vegetarian b/c he eats meat on occasion...simply calling himself a "healthy eater" didn't seem to fit b/c it means too many different things to too many people.

I know a person who eats solely Lean Cuisines morning, noon and night and considers it "healthy eating".  We all have our definitions.

As I read this person's post a single though kept coming through my head: Michael Pollan.  The amazing writer who gave us The Ominore's Dilemma and In Defense of Food and most recently an article in the NYT entitled Farmer in Chief.  I've realized that it's his words that speak to me most clearly.  His wisdom I find myself following.  And by the time I finished the end of the listserve's post I realized:

I'm a Michael Pollanist.  And I'm proud.

"Eat Food.  Mostly plants.  Not too much."

Running the country

There is a town in Colorado called Ward.  I don't know if this is still the way things are done, but there was a time when the residents of Ward took turns being mayor.  There was no election, no campaigning therefore no "false promises" or mudslinging.  You took your turn.  You dealt with whatever came up during your year. And then it was your neighbor's turn.

In my version of this the President wouldn't have the power to make huge decisions that impacted the entire country.  That's where voting could come into play.  Whenever a major decision was to be made the country voted on it. 

Anyhow.  I'm just thinking about Ward this morning.  Wishing people weren't so polarized and right-fighting and angry and consiously ignorant.  I wish people cared more about each other and less about forcing others to agree with their beliefs.

blech.