small things...

It’s all about the cool down

I woke up this morning feeling simultaneously excited and worried about my upcoming hike.  Excited because I’m doing something I’ve always wanted to do.  Worried about whether or not I can do it.  A classic battle for me.

This morning’s internal debate began on yesterday’s hike.  The hike began wet, muddy and cool.  I was nervous about hiking alone (annie and buster took the weekend off).  Initially I was worried about crazy forest preserve murderers (I think this is a common fear among urban/suburban folks who spend little time in nature – not afraid of wild animals, afraid of wild nature-people).  I can balance my crazy enough to go into nature anyway, but you can be sure I had worked out all types of ‘escape plans’ should I need one. 

Yesterday’s plan included a whistle, kicks in the shins and shortcuts through the forest screaming.

Despite the rain there were actually lots of people out running and cycling.  There is a camaraderie among people out exercising in inclement weather.  Remember that guy who gave me a high-five?  So my nervousness about murderers dwindled and I began enjoying the hike.  The plan was to hike 3 different trails totaling just around 5.5 miles.  I originally was going to add on another mile, but that trail was on pavement and too rough on my knees and back. 

So I felt great on the hike.  I was walking at a pretty quick clip, stopping only to snap a few shots.  My legs felt great, my lungs felt great…I was feeling pretty proud of my damn self.  At just about 3.5 miles in I started feeling really hot in the face.  I doubt I’ve ever shared this little fact, but my face doesn’t sweat.  I can probably credit this to why I rarely ever had blemishes as a teen.  That obvious plus aside, my face gets REALLY hot and REALLY red when I exercise.  And also really salty. You could lick my cheeks at the end of a hike and replenish your own salt loss.  And my cheeks are really soft..perhaps all that salt is exfoliating!  But now I’m just bragging.

Before making the obvious choice to take off a few layers to cool down, my mind had to go through the motions of entertaining every worst-case-scenario that could happen as  a result of a too-hot-face.  All anxious roads lead to the fear of passing out (for me at least).  It took me way too long to take off enough layers to properly cool down my hot, hot face and I spent way too much of the last 2 miles worrying.  As soon as the final layer was removed I felt great again.  I need to remember that

As soon as you cooled down, you felt great.

The worry that I woke up with this morning was whether my too-hot-face was going to be a real problem in the too-hot grand canyon and what was I going to do to keep myself cool.

This is where I ask for advice…what should I do to make sure I keep cool enough on this hike?

I also didn’t eat enough on this hike – I’d had breakfast on the road towards the hike and forgot to bring any snacks for the hike.  I think that might have helped as well.  I keep thinking that 5-6 miles isn’t really such a great distance, but I forget how long it takes.  There’s a big difference in what your body needs for a 5-6 mile run which might take 1-1.5 hours and hiking the same distance which takes me over 2 hours. 

Advice again: what should I bring to eat on this hike?

So my day began with worry, but as I got out of bed, made breakfast and puttered around my house…thoughts of excitement began to bubble. 

1. I’m doing something I’ve always wanted to do, but wasn’t sure I ever would!
2. I’m headed to the Southwest which is an area of inspiration for me
3. I have aspirations of being an athlete and pushing myself to take on physical challenges (despite my anxieties!)  This counts!
4. I want to do more

The rest of the morning I’ve spent looking into other adventures I might decide to partake in over the next year.  I think it’s going to be a fun year for my hot little face!

love and salt,

Erin

And now for the photos…

::Not enough to eat, I guess.  but yum.

::The start of the windy trail

:: Wildlife!  No crazy murderers, but this guy gave me a menacing stare as I passed by, eyes averted.

::I spotted 2 trees that had single christmas ornaments hanging from the. Probably a drug drop-off spot for santa’s elves

::Can you see the highway off to the right?  why would anyone swim in this pond?  But just in case, the life preserve is ready.  And looks like it’s been used…?

::Technicolor lichen! (lichen?  speak up nature-lovers, enlighten me on what this is)

Next week I’ll be blogging and hiking from a top secret locale. 

And I”m serious about the tips on keeping cool and what to eat…please share your knowledge!

Spring Sprang!

I have been counting down the days until I’d see a little green on the ground and in the trees and finally, finally, spring has come.

Annie, Buster and I drove out to Oakbrook, IL to take a hike at Fullersburg Woods.  It seemed like spring had literally just popped up as we drove into the parking lot.  Everything was bright and colorful.  We kept whispering, “oh my god. it’s so pretty.  I can’t believe how pretty it is.”

And the trees! are there really trees this tall in Illinois!?

There are a couple of trails you can follow here at Fullersburg.  We started with the trail that follows along the Salt Creek.  When we crossed the stone bridge you could look across to see the Visitor’s Center.

Why won’t they let me turn this into a bed and breakfast??

The air was still a little cool this morning even buster knew it was too cold to jump in that creek.  The creek was much longer and wider then I’d imagined.  We saw no one it (canoe-wise), but lots of people fishing.

This reminded me of the mud flats in Alaska.  In Alaska they are deadly.  Apparently unaware newlyweds step out on to the flats outside of Anchorage every year…never to return.  A quick sand of sorts.  Is that story even true?  someone illuminate me.

These ones didn’t seem quite as threatening, but we steered clear just the same.

At the opposite end of the creek you’ll find the Graue Mill.  Once a working corn mill now a mini-museum complete with a working watermill around back

Look! A waterfall!

I *heart* salt creek.

We headed back to the parking lot at this point.  There were lots of folks out for a walk or a bike ride and just as many fishing along the banks.  And then there was this little lady, just minding her own business.

This was a shorter hike then we’ve done recently.  Only about 3 miles.  There is the option to make it longer by connecting a second inner trail, but we’d had bad traffic on the way out to Oakbrook and needed to head back to be safe.  This place was so lovely though.  I will be back.

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I leave for the Grand Canyon in 24 days.  I am $79 away from my personal goal of raising $5000! I know I’ll make it.  It’s been such an amazing experience doing the fundraising portion of this endeavor.  Getting to hear from so many people just adding a little something (or a big something) to support me and this cause.  It’s pretty inspiring.

I think I’m ready for the hike too.  I’ll do at least one more long hike before I leave and lots of shorter hikes too. 

For the first time someone has asked me if I’m cool with heights.  The answer is: I’m not sure.  I did a lot of hiking when I lived in Colorado and the truth was as long as I was on a decently wide path (read: didn’t have to be too close to the edge) I was fine.  Anything too steep or too narrow and I’m a quivering mess.  Also, take me up to the Signature Room at the John Hancock and I’ll go nowhere near the windows.  So, um….we’ll see!

monkeyslaying

I have alluded a couple times in the last few posts about a certain health issue I’ve been dealing with.  I’d like to talk about it by way of a public service announcement, but don’t want to force it upon anyone.  Click here to read.

*but be warned: I’ve decided to be descriptive. Read at your own risk

What I’ll share with the rest of you is that I’m in the midst of a turning point in my life.  Some of us can see the bend in the road as it comes, the rest of us don’t see it coming and fall into the ditch just off the turn.  For me this is no new bend.  I have come to this same spot over and over and always end up in the ditch.  Recently I’ve turned to jumping right in the ditch to save a little time.

Those of you who followed along with the Keep it Local Challenge know that I’m passionate about good food grown locally.  I think everyone should have access to good, healthy, organically produced foods.  I think if you get the chance to meet your farmer you should jump at it.  You might assume that I eat really healthy. Not always so.

For me, being passionate about something hasn’t always meant following passion’s path.  I have a lot of internal obstacles I allow to derail me.  maybe you do too.  Some of the mean things my monkey brain yells at me at vulnerable times seem believable.

(you know about your monkey brain don’t you?  Monkey brain in general is the constant chatter in your mind just below your awareness.  Mean monkey brain are the awful, hateful things you tell yourself about yourself in that same level of chatter)

For many people the mean monkey brain statements sound a lot like this:

You’re stupid

You can’t have the things you want.

You aren’t worthy

You will always lose out

Nobody really likes you

Lately for me, the mean monkey chatter has centered around food, health and purpose

you eat like shit

You will never feel really healthy

God is busy doing other things

If you keep this up you will die young

Fuck. I mean, fuck. (and the truth is – I’ve said meaner things to myself then these. I can’t bring myself to share those ones) Whether or not a statement is true does not matter to the monkey.

If you remotely believe that the universe or god or Elvis responds to the thoughts you send out then I am fucked.  Or I would be fucked if I kept this up.  I actually think I’ve received a wake-up call.  I think that the universe or god or Elvis DID respond to the thoughts I’d been berating myself with and I got sick.  Thankfully, only very mildly so.

In the midst of having my procedure done and waiting for my results, I reached out to my old health/life coach for some support.  Last night I finally talked to her. 

Without going into too much detail about our conversation b/c I’m still processing it, she basically told me what I already knew, but in a way that it resonated. 

Shit or get off the pot.  And stop lying to yourself.

The advice she then gave me was to actively and outwardly choose everything I do over the next week.  Like everything.  I need to say to myself or outloud what I choose.  Like, “I choose to eat this burrito.”  or “I choose to sit on my ass and watch tv.”  maybe when I hear the choice - my choices might change.  Or maybe they won’t.  Choices I might have once considered 'passive’ now become active.  You don’t just end up watching the Real Housewives of New York marathon…you choose to.  I think I’m getting it.

The first thing I’m doing is flipping around the chatter:

You are well and feel amazing

You are healthy

You eat amazing foods

When you grow up you’ll be an old woman

And on the way - hike the grand canyon, girl.

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Speaking of the Grand Canyon…only 4 more weeks until I hop a plane to AZ!!  You can still donate to the cause if you’d like.  Click on the icon above.

afternoon hiking might be the way to go!  Normally I go first thing, or close to first thing in the morning.  My new hiking buddies (Annie & Buster) couldn’t go until later so we agree to meet at the woods in Skokie for a post-lunch hike.  It’s the best I’ve felt energy-wise. And I thought I was a morning person??!

Anyhoo…There still ain’t much green to speak of in these woods, but the air was warm – 70s at least.  There were tons of bikers and runners (Buster likes to challenge runners to a duel) so we took the horse trail, deftly dodging large piles left behind. 

We completed a 5 mile hike.  It was the first week back since my visit to the doc 2 weeks ago and it felt great.  I think we’ll shoot for 6 miles next Saturday!

GOAL!!!!

(Source)

On Friday morning I sent out what I thought could be my final plea to my friends on Facebook letting them know that my deadline to meet my fundraising goal is April 29th.  I was hoping that over the next 4 weeks I’d be able to raise most of the money and that I’d cover the rest with my own donation.  I had about $1200 left to raise as of Friday morning. 

After sending the note I packed up a day bag and headed up to Michigan to spend the day with my sister and nephew in our beloved second home in Sawyer, MI.  It has been a really rough week for me health-wise and I’d just started to feel better that morning.  The three of us spent the day relaxing on the beach and then later back at the house on the back deck.  Emmett took me on a tour of the backyard, a place I’ve been many times, but four-year-olds do have a way of showing you the familiar in a whole new way. 

We had a few snacks and talked about life and changes and this whole journey we’ve been on since our parents died. 

We went to bed early and got up early the next day.  Emmett asked me a lot of questions about what’s been going on with my tummy (more on that later) and finally, FINALLY, I checked my emails to see if anyone had heeded my plea.

I’d like to keep private the amounts that people have donated or who donated what because the truth is that ALL of it has an impact.  Every last dollar.  Let’s just say that within 24 hours $1200 had been raised. 

I was stunned.

My heart swelled.

I felt an odd, and thankfully fleeting, pang of guilt.  It’s a funny thing feeling supported by people you care about.  It feels incredible, but there is a moment of  worry that you’re worth it or that what you’re doing is worth it.  I shook that off as fast as I could.

At my mom’s funeral I spoke about the importance of ‘showing up’ for the people you care about.  That’s what has happened for me through this process.  I got the privilege of knowing what it feels like when people ‘show up’. 

I’ve been struggling a little lately with my own desire to show up for all of you who donated and are still donating.  As I mentioned I’ve been dealing with some health issues and that along with my innate tendency to meander on these training hikes has left me feeling concerned about how this whole Grand Canyon hike will turn out.  Will my hike be worthy of your donations?  I really hope so.  I promise you that I will sweat and pant and look up every once and awhile to take it all in.  And there will be photos. lots and lots of photos.

It’s not too late to still show up.  I’ve met my goal, but it would be pretty amazing to surpass that goal. Should we go for $5000?

Thanks everybody. You are just the best.

love and heartswells,

Erin

Looking for spring

We’re nearing the end!! ==> There is still time to donate!! The deadline is April 29th..don’t delay! ==>

I think I’ve lost track of what number hike this was…#7?  I’ve continued to hike sans the rest of my group, but I have picked up a couple of hiking buddies!  My friend Annie and her pal, Buster, joined me this past Saturday for a hike at Deer Grove Trail in Palatine, IL.

Buster is even more handsome in-person

The hike here was really, really nice.  The trees seemed a little taller, the hike seemed slightly more woodsy (though if you listened close enough you could hear the traffic just beyond the trees – I tried not to listen too closely).

I keep finding random sources of water in the woods around here.  Well, twice anyways.  This one didn’t seem like it had been used recently, but I love an old contraption…

On this trail there were some rolling hills and curving paths.  There were creeks and bridges.  I wondered aloud what the source of the creek was and Annie offered, “sewage runoff?”  I’d been thinking, “Fox river?” Let’s hope I was right…and don’t look too closely at this snapshot

You’ll notice that spring around here looks just like fall.  All brown and grey and crunchy.  I was hoping to spot a few sprouts of green among all that brown, but they alluded me.  These little hold outs caught my eye, however.

These Last Leaves held on all winter.  They will blow away soon to make room for the young green buds that will surely take their place.

I. CANNOT.WAIT for that.

It was 80 degrees here yesterday.  People were blissed out.  I work on a college campus and all of a sudden there were students everywhere laying in the grass, playing guitar, revealing their winter skin to each other and the world. 

I slept with my window open last night and felt a warm breeze off the lake even as I slept.  I know that spring is here for sure because the birds are back in full force.  There was a riot of birds in the tree outside by bedroom this morning.  If we spoke the same language I would have asked them what all the fuss was about, but I know they must feel blissed out too and are shouting out, “spring is here! spring is here!”

Only 6 more weeks until the GRAND CANYON!!!