small things...

Happy (belated) Birthday, Dad

:: Me and Dad, Cliffs of Mohr

::Dad and Megan, Cliffs of Mohr

My dad would have turned 69 years old this week. He will never be older than 55.

I spent sometime looking at photos this morning to find the one I wanted share in this post.  When someone that important has been gone so long it can be difficult to look long at their face in photos.  Not because you don’t want to, but because it is so obvious that they are so….gone.  I haven’t seen his face in a long time outside those photos.

These photos were taken on a family trip to Ireland when I was 9 years old. 

maybe it’s because of the cliffs, maybe it’s because we both look so serious and they look so happy and we all look so much like ourselves.  Maybe it’s because I’m drinking a huge 7Up through a straw with a dandy sweater tied around my neck.  But I think it’s because it’s us and our dad and I could imagine these photos being taken today and maybe everything would look the same.

Happy (belated) birthday, dad!

Thanksgiving in Maine

I spent Thanksgiving this year with my sister and nephew at their friend Paul’s place up in Brooklin, Maine. Both my flights were long ones (to and fro) because Maine is at the end of the world.  (People told me this – Mainers told me this – someplace has to be).  And there there was the little business of a snowstorm!  6 inches I believe.  But I made it there and arrived to a blanket of snow and a cozy home.  I was grateful to be with family, in a new place with new friends. 

In Maine, the guest room resides above the woodshop and double’s as practice space for the Bad Daddy’s

On the walk up the driveway and back:

Don’t sneak up on Emmett in the winter.  He is always prepared.

That driveway is a1/4 mile long. Maine is spacious

snowpants = bliss

The rest of the day was all food all the time.  just like for the rest of you

My contribution: A Maple-Apple upside down cake.  I forgot an after shot, but this is the recipe.  It was a big hit and will be a keeper. yum

Before:                                 After:

         

That first bird looks a bit indecent.  my apologies.  The second bird looks as good as it does thanks in no small part to this golden delicious flavor bomb

The chef hard at work

My sister’s handiwork

And my favorite dish every year.  or every meal.  i love a good mash.

Hope your Thanksgiving was healthy, happy and warm!

On choices and habits

I went on a walk today after the 8th morning of not writing a single word towards my 50,000 word goal.  I am decidedly not beating myself up over this, but trying to understand patterns.  I have often claimed that I am not one for routines.  I have a hard time picking up new habits as I rarely do the same thing in the same order day after day.

What I am learning is that for me I think I cannot go a day without doing whatever it is I’m trying to incorporate into my life.  Because a day will easily lead into several days, or weeks, or months.  It needs to be something I do everyday without fail

They say that it takes 21 days to develop a habit.  I think for me it may take a lifetime.  In that, it may never become a thoughtless act - writing, exercise, meditation, whatever - will likely always need to be a choice I make every day.  

And maybe that’s what habits are for most people – choices they make every day.  I imagine it differently, that it becomes like eating or breathing, you do it because you need to do it, the habit.  But maybe that is not right, maybe for everyone it is a daily choice made.

So this morning I chose to walk.  and today I’ll choose to write.

Day 8 – 9124 words

Today it looks like this outside my window

All I want to do is stay in my pj’s and write all morning.  1000+ words this morning all before 8:30am. I’m not reading anything I’ve written so far, just picking up where I last left off and seeing what happens next. 

today I want to stay there, in that writing world. 

yesterday at work I dealt with a person who was irrationally angry with me.  I was taken off guard.  I wanted to defend myself.  I wanted to tell her I didn’t even really care what her concerns were, that this was just a job and her concerns were small and couldn’t she see that?  But I said, ‘let’s go back to when you were pleased and take it from there.’ and she calmed down and thanked me in the end and told me she was excited about what came next for her.  I didn’t tell her that I was not…not excited for what came next for her.  Instead I said, “Great! I’m so happy for you.  Sorry we got off on the wrong foot, but here we are on the right one.”

Today I just want to stay home and write because what I am excited for is what happens next for me.

Day 7 - 8084 words

I'm falling behind - but I'm not worried! 

I guess I should be at around 11,000 words by now so I'm a good 3000 off. 

But still...not worried. 

I had a moment this morning where the words were flowing and the story all of a sudden took this turn I hadn't seen coming.  It was something I've heard told from other authors - the moment when the story tells itself to you and not the other way around. 

Now I know what that feels like.  Now I can let that happen again. 

It's all good.

Days 2-3 – Total words: 6005

I’m at a point in this story where I need to get from one dynamic spot to another.  I’m having trouble with it b/c it’s less fun to write.  But I realize it’s important.  It’s the foundation.  It’s the part everything else has to grow from.

So I’m putting on my farmer pants and tilling the soil of this story.  Hoping to get to my thousand words today!

wish me words!

erin

ps – whee I’m finally a farmer!

NaNoWRiMo Day 1 – Total words: 5273*

So day 1, I was all about it.  Got up early, went for a walk to get my blood pumping, came home and wrote for about 2 hours before I had to go to work.  I got about 1000 words written today.  that’s the most I’ve ever written in one sitting.

* Full disclosure about my number of words:  I started the challenge with 4224 words.  I decided not to start a new project from the beginning because I really, really want to complete this one.

1. My goal remains 50,000 words this month.
2. To met the NaNoWriMo goal I need to write 54,224 words. 

Yesterday I had a fun talk with a co-worker who has also been working on a novel.  I tried to talk her into joining me on this challenge – she has WAY more written already, but needs to finish it – I’m hopeful.  It was fun talking about our stories, though I realized I don’t have my synopsis clearly articulated. lots of hemming and hawing on my part.

Today is the start of Day 2. I woke up exhausted.  Was it from the writing?  Was it because my cat jumped on my chest in the middle of the night and sneezed in my face leading to panicked face scrubbing so as not to contract the cat flu?  No one knows.

Either way, Day 2 begins and I need to get some words out.

adios!