or “Why I always want to skip this part”
I’ve explored this concept of “self-acceptance” only on a very superficial level. I feel a nearly imperceptible turning away from the concept whenever I begin to try to understand it. I want to skip this part, ignore this part, not need this part. But this week I have started to wonder why? .
Here are some thoughts on why:
- Acceptance feels like resignation
- Acceptance feels like giving up
- Acceptance feels like defeat
As if the act of Acceptance means that we have waved the white flag and cried, “Uncle!”
- Acceptance feels like a backhanded compliment, “You are awesome even though in these following ways you are not actually all that awesome. But I, hey, I accept you Anyhow!”
- If I accept, how can I change?
What I am learning is that none of these things are ‘Acceptance’. Resignation is just resignation. Giving up is just giving up. Acceptance is not loving yourself DESPITE your flaws. It’s loving your flaws….right?
This is tricky.
Maybe acceptance comes when you can claim all the parts of yourself. I remember once on the phone with one of my oldest friends when we were in our twenties I exclaimed, at the moment of full realization, “I can be a real bitch!” She just laughed and said in the most loving way, “Yes. yes you can.” And I distinctly remember liking myself so much more in that moment.
Maybe acceptance requires that we see the forest and the trees. I am someone who can easily compartmentalize the different parts of myself. “Over here we have the things I am proud of, down the hall you’ll find my past, don’t open that closet – that’s where I keep all the broken pieces.”
Acceptance is seeing that I couldn’t be a forest without all these trees. I am really mixing metaphors now…but I ACCEPT it! see, making progress.
So what is Self-Acceptance really all about:
- Really seeing and acknowledging all part of yourself
- living in a reality that includes all parts of yourself, not in a selective reality which ignores elephants in rooms (trees in forests, closets hiding messes…)
And maybe, it’s also the realization that life is always moving. And that accepting who I am in this moment doesn’t mean that I have to remain the same to remain accepting. I accept that the weather will change. So I can accept that I will too.
alright, people reading this…what the hell am I talking about? Have I made any headway on this topic? can you shed some insight of your own?
WHAT IS ACCEPTANCE ALL ABOUT??
